Thanks, as always, for your thoughts. It's because of your columns that I've been coming to this site; I live in a bordering town, not South Brunswick (although I patronize businesses in the towns of South Brunswick). Your personal, family touch is as a breath of fresh air in this busy world, and, while I'm a believer in the strength of online relationships, they do not replace the in-person contact about which you have written so eloquently.

Now that my sons are adults we very rarely eat together. When they were still young and my wife was alive she made sure we all had dinner together as often as possible and on weekends we often had dinner with the extended families , my mother or my inlaws. I think now that they are all gone that is one of the things I miss most but at least we had it when my boys were in their formative years and I think they are better for it.

Hi Ray. Thanks for your excellent observation. I'm not sure there is much we can do once our kids grow up but as you rightly point out, the effects are enormously positive during the formative years.

I always enjoy your articles and gain much insight from them.
There's a country song by Trace Adkins called "She Thinks We're Just Fishing." It's about a Dad who takes his young daughter fishing, and how she chatters about her "ballet shoes and training wheels and her kittens" The Dad "gets it" about what's really going on with their shared time together.
Children grow up, and move away in the blink of an eye! I'm grateful for the time I had with mine, even if I didn't always feel grateful at the time!
Thank you, as always, for your excellent articles!

Excellent insight as usual. As grandparents raising our young grandsons, we make the evening meal a special time for our youngest grandson. It gives him time to tell us all about his day and have our full attention. We also do a bedtime reading, alternating with him on reading the pages in a book. With him being in school with other children who live with mommy and daddy, we want to make him feel as normal as we can to avoid falling between the cracks when he is older.

Your usual practical helpfulness, thanks. Growing up as the youngest of six kids, dinner was a chaotic flurry of dashing in and out going to football or band practice, etc., but that dinner table was always home base. And my parents always engaged us in "projects," like making box kites for the annual contest or building a dinosaur out of snow in the front lawn (the neighbors thought we were weird but that only increased our bond).

I took note in your article that family dinners strengthen relationships with Dad, and even with siblings, more than with Mom. That poor woman! She gives and gives...

Great stuff--thanks! It's no secret that we need all the support we can get for anything that enhances healthy family relationships, and this is a real contribution.

Dr. Ralph W. Milligan
Charlotte, North Carolina

You'd think it was common sense, but the statistics are shocking. Thanks for the reminder, delivered to us in another well-researched and timely article. It's always a pleasure, Judy!

I loved our *almost* nightly family dinners...that's where I learned there was always room for one more. Many of you were the "one more" and I was often the "one more" at your house, as well. I do likewise, just like Mama did:)"

I grew up with family sit-down dinners throughout my entire childhood and teen years. I remember non-stop laughter, delicious home cooked meals & great conversations, I am proud to say that I came from such a close knit family and have carried the tradition on with my own family. Even with three children, I make sure that we have multiple sit-down meals together during the week. Thanks again Judy for another great contribution to The Patch! Your articles rock!

Steph, thank you for reminding me about that aspect of family dinners, the passing on of family history. I suspect that is why folks in my family know so little about our history. Family dinners were something I knew absolutely nothing about as a child. They were hit and miss with no warning or preparation. I believe that is where I fell down most as a parent and am only realizing the importance of these meals/rituals now. I also believe that is my motivation to write column topics like this one.

Judy! Another great article. I enjoy reading your weekly column; you research with professionalism yet present a personal viewpoint. It's a win situation for all readers. Thank you for your timely work. You are a treasure!!

I look forward to reading Judy's column whenever I can! I love her common sense, entertaining, and wise outlook on things!

I love your columns, Judy! Keep 'em coming! I share them on Facebook and with my friends. Thanks for the insightful advice and commentary.

Thanks for your warm words, Liz. I am happy that my writing is getting out there through people like you since that is why I write.

Great article and so true. Due to busy schedules, my family was unable to sit down together every night, but some of my happiest memories are from doing dishes with my son. That was OUR time and he was sort of a captive audience. He shared more information with me while I washed and he dried. I hope as many parents as possible are able to read your well written and well researched article. Keep them coming.

Another great article. Nice job Judy.

I love your articles Judy it's the reason I keep coming back to Patch
Keep them coming

Given me food for thought Judy if you pardon the pun.

John, thank you for responding to the column and the pun is wonderful!!

What time is dinner?

Judy--great work! Growing up, we did those family dinners almost nightly. I recall that when Mom was too tired to cook or when it was really hot out, we all went to the dairy farm and bought ice cream for an "ice cream supper"--around the kitchen table. I did not do so well with my own children but it is not a hard habit to get back to--now that they are grown, we do family dining at their homes and now include the grandbaby.
Your articles are wonderful and I love reading them. We need your voice and your wonderful ideas.

Alison, thank you for sharing your memories of family dinners and the "ice cream supper." It reinforces how much the "gathering" is more important than the menu. What a beautiful lesson to teach your grandbaby!

Judy: This is a great article. I agree with you about family time. It is so important, especially these days. I'm going to put this on my Facebook page and hope that my family, friends read this.

Hi Laurie, you are absolutely right about family time being especially needed during these tough economic times with environmental and war threats ever-present. Family dinners offer a sanctuary that the "world" cannot enter. Thank you for sharing my column with others. As a professional writer, that is important to me!

Another great article, Judy, and as always, you're right on the mark.

Family time is important, perhaps even more so for families that don't otherwise meet due to work schedules, kids' activities, sports and dance schedules,etc. It is especially important to set time aside to be a family so that that important connection isn't lost. We frequently feel that all our other activities are the important things in our lives, but it is our interpersonal relationships with others close to us that truly define who we are and let us share our experiences, dreams, and values. This is true togetherness. Activities will come and go, largely forgotten over the years, but our family remains relevant for our entire lives. Unless we nurture our familiar relationships, they will fall into nothing more than the daily drudgery of carpools and conflicting schedules and become defined as such. I have four kids and we make a point of regularly eating dinner together without the distraction of tvs, cell phones, etc. It's a time when we share news, thoughts, and accomplishments, talk about current events, and just enjoy each other's company. We love this time together.

Besides, dinner is yummy!

Thanks again for the article!

Family dinners are so very important, unfortunately, with my husband's work schedule and my son's sport schedule (as he was growing up) prevented us from having too many dinners together :( We made up for it in other ways and our family is close.

As always, Judy, your column is wonderful and so insightful. Even though I livve far away from you, it's your column that keeps me coming back to this site!

Judy, great article as always. What a great resource you provide to the community! I've referred to your articles numerous times. Keep up the great work.

I think the author hits the nail on the ahead regarding quality time that a family spends together. Shared experiences are what builds relationships of any kind and family dinners are indeed an ideal way to build a healthy bond with one's children. Another great builder of positive parent/child relationships is family vacations, these are events that my grown children often reminisce about with great fondness.

Mark, I hadn't thought about family vacations -- and corresponding "staycations" -- as another source of gathering this valuable relationship building time. Thank you for pointing it out!!

Great article. This is the kind of thing everyone should read as a reminder to what's really important in life. I also want to add that it's a good time to see if your child has any food allergies. Wouldn't you want to be there if they are experiencing some kind of bad food allergy reaction during dinner, especially for the first time? Some of these allergies don't show up in kids until they are older. Be safe and eat together!

Thanks for pointing out the opportunity that family dinners offer in order to recognize child food allergies, Stefani. It is indeed an added perk to having delicious meals together!

This was really a great piece. It's so important to make family time a priority in today's world. It keeps everyone grounded and reminded they are loved and supported. I remember our dinners as a kid. It's where we talked over the day, shared some laughs, and sometimes fought. But the fact is we did it all - together.

Carol, thank you for sharing your memories of when family times were a priority. I suspect we both grew up in simpler times which means it just has to be a more conscious effort to gather the family and truly listen to each member's thoughts and feelings. Even the least "successful" effort is better than making no effort at all!

What a warm and welcoming reminder to keep the family together. There are far too many distractions that keep family members separate. Dinnertime can be the best time to remember that we are functioning as a family in the best way possible. Thanks for another great article, Judy.

Thank you, Kay for your comments. I know you are an internationally-known addictions specialist and very familiar with the importance of family rituals as contributing to healthy family dynamics.

Great topic with great insight. Judy you always put your heart into what you share, shedding your light for healthy families and healthy communities. Bravo and thank you!
My best to you.....Karen

With fall sports fully underway, your article could not come at a better time. How many parents have you heard say, "There is nothing I can do to prevent my kids from dinking, smoking, etc. They are going to do it anyway." Then we hear that we can cut the likelihood of use by one half and double the quality of our familiy relationships by simply following our own parents' example and have dinner as a family five night each week. Instead of rejoicing, we react as if we have been told we must walk to the moon. It's impossible! But is it? Sure, we are all too busy running kids around, but in the long run what's more important - spending time with our kids... or getting them to practice?

Judy, I could not wait to read your column when I returned home from vacation! You always provide a good mix of research, common sense, humor (when appropriate) and your own experience. It's like having coffee and conversation with a good friend when I read your column and I look forward to seeing it every week. Your comments not only provide information, but make the local scene very 'visual' to one who reads the paper and travels to the area several times a year. This particular column is on a topic many of us were discussing on vacation -- a group of grandparents who were talking about what we did that helped our kids grow into responsible young adults, and that included family mealtimes!

Gwen, thank you for your warm and insightful comments. It is heartening that this important topic is being discussed among grandparents. Family dinners are one of the few things sure ways that we can have an influence on our children's lives whether they are young or older teens.

I was brought up on family dinners. So were my kids. Good times!